Itching for a Roundhouse Kick to the Head

The folks over a Whiskey Fire are just begging to have Chuck Norris show up at their mom's house to roundhouse kick their pajamas-wearing blogger asses right out of the basement.  Nevertheless, I couldn't help from LOL'ing at the new Chuck Norris Homophobe Facts, so I guess I'm in danger of ol' Red Beard myself.

Chuck Norris hates gays so much, when he saw the Boogeyman in his closet, he called him a fag!

Chuck Norris thinks anyone you love who is gay is going to hell and he's cool with that!

Chuck Norris posters have been masturbated to by many gay men, and he hates all of them!

Chuck Norris is so tough, he will kick the ass of any gay person so gay as to try to assert any gay legal rights when their gay lover is in medical trouble!

Chuck Norris is good at kicking people, and he thinks that any child with gay parents is fucked because of how gay the kid's parents are!

Chuck Norris's religion is so butch, he thinks it gives him the right to impose his own cramped and inhumane morality on people he doesn't know!

Chuck Norris is so strong, he thinks the will of the majority should absolutely prevail over the rights of the minority, even when the minority loses by like a 4 percent margin!

Chuck Norris reads his own press, and apparently also the nonsense on the internet about how cool he is, and this has led him to believe that he is something else besides a halfway intelligent bigoted fucknobble!